Betty’s problem and the difficulty most people face in keeping their resolutions is that changing behavior involves more than simply vowing to do so. A lot more. So, whether you want to do more or less of something, quit something altogether or start something new, here are a few tips that can help.

1. Be sure the change you vow to make is something you really want, not just something you think you should do or something you’re doing for someone else. Altering habits is hard work; if you’re not going after something you really want, you set yourself up for failure.

2. Be specific. Instead of vowing to “lose weight,” be specific: five pounds by March 15. Vague words like “more,” “better” or “less” don’t give you a toehold to measure against. State your goal in incremental, measurable, specific terms. Be certain it’s attainable, too. To go from a sitting position to running a marathon in six weeks may be too long a distance to travel in that short a time.

Who are you? What do you believe? What do you really need?

When we discover who we really are, we stop living on auto-pilot and start to live with intention, focus and purpose. Our choices become clearer. We begin to make active choices in our life, instead of making excuses or passively living with the status quo.

Here are a few questions to get you started. Have a journal or some way to record your thoughts. (Writing by hand keeps you in touch with your breath and your heart.)

• What is aching to be expressed?

• What needs healing?

• What unique gifts, talents and skills do you bring to the world? How are you using them (or not)?

Did you have trouble keeping your New Year’s Resolutions? You’re not alone. Most people who make resolutions fail to keep them. Here are ten ways to make and keep New Year’s Resolutions—or any changes in your life.

1. Make resolutions you care about. Be certain the change you want to make really matters to you, and that it’s not just something you think you “should” do.

2. Be specific and concrete. Not “I want to lose weight” but “I want to lose five pounds by March 15.” State your goals in measurable and attainable terms.

3. Make the time. If you want to exercise three times a week, write the dates and times in your calendar.

4. Easy does it. Start slowly. Don’t expect to run a marathon by February if you can’t make six miles now.

The best way to have a good year is by living life on a daily basis, letting the good days accumulate, one by one. And it doesn’t have to be New Year’s to resolve to have a good year. Start anytime. Today, for instance.

1. Take time, slow down. Be present in your life and mindful of the present.

2. Care for your body, eat well, exercise, treat yourself to loving, nurturing self-care.

3. Spend quality time with family and friends. Communicate, keep in touch. Say I love you. Tell people you appreciate them.

4. Take time throughout the day to renew yourself. Take a walk, read a poem or a good book, listen to music (really listen); bring beauty into your life. On a monthly basis, take a whole day for yourself — play, treat yourself to something you want to do; retreat from your daily life. Mark these special days on your calendar (in ink) so you’ll be certain to take them.

As the year speeds to its end, we begin to mentally prepare for next year. But don’t forget to take time to assess your personal and professional challenges and accomplishments THIS year. Here are some questions to ask yourself:

1. What have I accomplished this year? Be specific. Write it all down. Schedule some time to celebrate this!

2. What have I learned this year? What skills did you pick up? What emotional lessons?

3. What got in my way? This is where your work will be next year. Be honest if it was your own self that got in the way.