Addictions

Workaholism has a treadmill, joyless quality, not the bouncy, fun energy of a trampoline. And while working long, hard hours may help you accomplish a primary work goal, it likely will leave other areas of your life—family, friendship, intellectual stimulation, etc.—in shambles.

“Workaholism is an addiction,” Julia Cameron says in her book, The Artist’s Way, “and like all addictions, it blocks creative energy.” Take the following quiz, adapted from Cameron’s book, to help you figure out if you have workaholic habits. Even better, ask a few members of your family, or a few friends, to answer these questions for you. You may be surprised by what you discover.

1. I work beyond normal office hours.

2. I cancel dates with friends or family members to do more work.

3. I postpone outings until my deadline project is done.

4. I take work with me on vacations.

5. My family and/or friends complain that I always work.

6. I seldom allow myself free time between projects.

Many of the usual drinking rules are relaxed during the holiday season. Drinking in the daytime for example, and drinking at the workplace where office parties often add alcohol to the mix. More drinking and driving occurs during the holidays than at any other time of the year. And sometimes people who don’t normally drink much may indulge in more than they intended and trouble follows.

It’s not true that increased drinking causes alcoholism—alcoholism is a disease with many “causes.” Just because someone drinks more frequently, or consumes more alcohol than they usually do, doesn’t mean he or she has become an alcoholic. But there are warning signs that drinking may be a problem, for example:

• Starting to drink earlier in the day.

• Increased drinking (drinking every day or every few days, or drinking increased quantities).

• Continuing to drink when they’ve “had enough.”

Visitors to the internet "talk" with anonymous strangers in chat rooms and news groups; "visit" museums and African plains; "kiss," "hug" and "have sex" by typing into a computer; "swim underwater" in simulated oceans.

It’s a new world, all right—one in which we are confronted daily with new emotional issues, or new twists on age-old issues. These three brief vignettes illustrate some of the uncharted waters we are wading in today.

Real Life vs. Net Life

George spends five to eight hours a day on the Internet talking with a vast assortment of friends in various chat communities. He presents himself alternately as an assertive and confident Casanova, an opinionated scholar or a focused, take-charge businessman.

In "real life," George is none of these. Painfully shy and extremely self-critical, George keeps to himself.

"I feel more like myself when I’m online,” he says. But what he really means is, "I feel more like who I wish I was."

It often seems that the moment you decide to quit an addictive substance or activity, the deluding, conniving self-talk begins. Before you know it, this deceptive self-talk has become a deafening self-shout, and the danger of relapse is just around the corner. That’s the power of language and how it shapes our thoughts and actions.

But it is possible to get a hold of this self-defeating, one-way conversation. Change your self-talk and you change yourself.

Addictions help people avoid unpleasant or painful emotions. People develop addictions not only to substances—such as drugs, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, sugar, food—but also to activities, such as gambling, sex, the Internet, work, theft, shopping. The common thread is a preoccupation that interferes with life, continued use or involvement despite negative consequences, and loss of control. While they may bring short-term relief, addictions result in long-term nightmares.

To the voices in your head, however, it’s ALL about the short-term relief.

When actor David Duchovny was treated for sex addiction in 2008, it brought attention to a topic that few people had ever discussed at a water cooler before.

Similar to food addiction, sex addiction (sometimes referred to as “sex and love addiction”) involves a natural part of life that the afflicted individual takes to extremes, harming self and sometimes others.

Drawing another parallel to food, sex addicts may over-indulge in sex or sexual activities (similar to binge eating) or they may isolate themselves to the point where they curtail almost all activities where they might face temptation or opportunity (similar to anorexia).

Just like the temperature, drinking taboos are lifted a few degrees in the summertime. Drinking in the daytime is more acceptable. Consider lounging around the pool drinking tall, cool ones, patio parties where exotic drinks and tiki torches brighten up the night. And since it stays lighter later, the cocktail hour is extended a few hours.

It’s not true that increased drinking causes alcoholism — alcoholism is a disease with many “causes.” Just because someone drinks more frequently, or consumes more alcohol than they used do, doesn’t mean he or she has become an alcoholic. But, there are warning signs that drinking may be a problem, for example:

• starting to drink earlier in the day

• increased drinking (drinking every day or every few days, and drinking increased quantities)

• continuing to drink when they’ve “had enough.”

• denying they’ve “had enough.”

Abuse of or addiction to alcohol or other substances is not always easy to spot. If many of the following clues are present, it could be that you are dealing with someone who needs help.

1. Minimizing. The common refrain is, “I can stop anytime I want.” Hiding the use of substances is also a major clue.

2. Belligerence and intimidation. Mean-spiritedness, intense sarcasm and/or regular belittling usually leads to people feeling as though they must “walk on eggshells” around the person.

3. Lying and promise-breaking. Both hallmarks of substance abuse or addiction, these include the oft-made (and broken) promise to “never do it again,” whatever “it” is.